RIP Twenties: A Thirtieth Birthday
It’s September, the beginning of my birthday month — so it only seemed fitting to finally share my thirtieth birthday celebration from just about a year ago! I’d known for years that I wanted to go all out on a dramatic party when I turned 30. In my mind, that was my last “big” birthday for a while (although I fully believe in going as big as you want any year). I wanted to pull out all the stops and add a little dramatic flair. As someone who normally gravitates towards light neutral colors, I felt like mixing things up with something dark and moody, maybe even a little bit sexy. I’d seen the theme of saying RIP to your 20’s before, and knew I could potentially riff on that as it seemed like the perfect way to bring the drama…
Read on for all the details on how I pulled the birthday evening of my dreams together, and welcomed this new decade by honoring the death of the one before it.
Inspiration
I started by borrowing inspiration from several wedding trends I wish I’d known about when I was getting married — first, asking your guests to follow a specific dress code, and second, bringing another dress to change into for the later half of the evening. These two wishes were the foundation on which the rest of the party began to take shape.
I’d also had a screenshot saved in my phone of an arched invitation that reminded me of a tombstone, but in a subtle/elegant way. I never want my themes to come across too heavy-handed. With this starting point in hand, I began building a moodboard around the idea of throwing a classy little funeral for my twenties. Pinterest is of course a great place to do this, but sometimes I also collect physical items I already have that I think could work for my vision.
I definitely had my heart set on a local venue that’s one of my favorite places to grab dinner and drinks, and has the vibe I knew I was going for (elegant cocktail lounge, but cozy and intimate). I inquired about their private balcony space and was pleased to find out that it could accommodate the number of guests I was hoping to have for a doable price point! Having your location figured out early on can really help shape the direction of the rest of the event, especially decor, as you know what you’re working with. I visited the space and took some reference photographs but realized I could get away with pretty minimal decor as the venue styling was already very aligned with what I had in mind (black and white furniture, for example).
Granada Hotel & Bistro in downtown San Luis Obispo — one of my favorite bars in the area, and my ideal intimate venue
The private balcony overlooks the patio seating
You’re Invited
I’ve learned over the years to start working on invites a lot sooner that you think you should. I’m always over the top when it comes to making physical invites, since we so rarely send and receive them anymore — I want them to be extra special moments! But this of course takes time to produce. I had a layered/shrouded invitation in my mind’s eye, in that beautiful arched shape on luxe paper with a black on black foil effect. Couldn’t be too hard to make, right?
I had some leftover black vellum from a previous project that I thought could work. I also sourced some black envelopes with a dramatic contour flap, meaning one where the flap almost touches the bottom of the envelope. I decided on three layers of paper that would be attached with mini black brads (found these at Michaels). The piece with all the information would be a bone color with elegant black text, the next layer would be solid black, and the top layer would be the semi-sheer black vellum to create a veiled effect. The trick was finding a way to produce the text “RIP 20’s” in a black foil on top of the vellum, in a cost effective way. I looked into a lot of options (creative problem-solving at it’s finest). This is about to get really nerdy… foil can be affixed to something printed with toner when heat is applied, but I only have an inkjet printer, and would have had to buy a lamination machine. Nope. I also had trouble finding black foil in the first place. I then looked into embossing powders… but again, I needed a way to first print on the vellum, which was going to be difficult. In desperation I started wandering around Michael’s, beginning to think I’d need to give up on my vision. But then, I happened upon a beautiful roll of vinyl in the Cricut section that looked a lot like the shiny foil effect I was hoping for! Vision secured!
As an aside, I have to say how much I love my Cricut for small, bespoke projects like this. I recommend them to my designer friends as they’re not just for the crafting crowd — if you know how to hack them you can make some pretty amazing stuff. Let me know in the comments if you ever want to see more Cricut tutorials from me!
The setup and assembly of these invitations was a labor of love, but I had so much fun figuring out how to make my vision come to life and trouble-shooting the issues along the way. I feel like they really set the tone for my event, and communicated the dedication to the theme.
The Elements
ELEGANT COCKTAILS
MOODY & INTIMATE ATMOSPHERE
ALL BLACK ATTIRE
FORMAL DINNER
Removeable vinyl decals I designed and cut with my Cricut on an arched mirror
Design Wishlist
Mirrors
Candles
White flowers
Matchbook favors
Handmade ceramics
Arched elements
The striped cushions and black and white decor perfectly suited my theme without me doing a thing!
The Setting
I knew after visiting the venue space that I wouldn’t need to do much at all, simply bring a few things that would complement the existing decor. The cozy patio space was filled with comfortable lounge seating that would transition perfectly from early evening to night, and there was a large fireplace that would be lit once things started to cool off. Lanterns were already filled with white pillar candles and the beautifully presented drinks and appetizers would cover the tables.
I decided to purchase a few arched mirrors to call back to the same tombstone shape used for the invites, and use them as signs (I love it when unusual objects are repurposed for temporary signage). I cut more black vinyl using my Cricut and applied it to the two mirrors after I spray painted the edges black. If you use removable vinyl, the mirrors can easily be cleaned and used again in your home or elsewhere. At night when the fire was lit, the reflective light in the mirrors was beautiful!
Another important element of the vibe was asking all the guests to wear all black attire. This created such a cool look when we were all gathered together — people walking by on the street below kept looking up at us on the balcony! I started with a more summery dress with cutouts on the sides, but decided I could be a little bit extra and bring a sleeker cocktail dress to change into once the sun went down, which ended up being a very fun choice.
We grabbed all the white flowers available at Trader Joe’s the morning of the party
Vinyl decals applied to an arched mirror
The Table
The venue pretty much had the tables covered — they printed custom menus for me based on the prix fixe menu we had decided on, and would set out silverware and trays of appetizers.
However, I’d been taking pottery lessons for several months at this point in the year, and had an idea to create some votives that could both double as table decor as well as favors for guests. I talked my amazing ceramics teacher into helping me throw about 30 small vessels that I intended to fill with candles, but in the end decided would work better as mini vases for flowers (this decision also saved me time!) Guests could then use them as shot glasses or containers for small items once they took them home.
Food & Drink
This was my first time working with a proper venue coordinator, and it was so fun to choose a menu for my guests. We took some friends to try out as many cocktails and dishes as we could ahead of time and wrote down all our favorites. I had to be sure two of my go-to orders made it on the list — a white negroni and a whiskey sour. Below were my picks for a well-rounded menu (trying to be considerate of gluten free, dairy free, and vegetarian options):
Cocktails
OLD FASHIONED / WHITE NEGRONI / FRESH START / TOMAS EN FUEGO / JAZZ HANDS / SLO DOWN / WHISKEY SOUR
BEER & WINE
APPETIZERS
CHEESE PLATTER / MARINATED ARTICHOKE BRUSCHETTA / PROSCIUTTO WRAPPED PEAR
1st course
BORRACHA SHRIMP or MARINATED KALE SALAD or ROASTED GARLIC WHITE BEAN HUMMUS
2nd course
HOISIN CHICKEN or ELOTE GNOCCHI or WAGYU TRI-TIP or MARKET FISH
3rd course
CAST IRON COOKIE or HOUSE MADE FRUIT SORBET or PEANUT BUTTER PIE
Custom designed matchbooks with my birth year
Favors
The reason I had wanted to fill the ceramics I made with candles is because I thought that would pair perfectly with my final vision of the night — custom designed matchbooks to commemorate the event, designed with my birth year (inspo borrowed from Taylor Swift’s 1989 album). However, the matches sadly didn’t arrive until the day after the party was over… I share this because sometimes, despite the best-laid plans, things don’t work out and you have to pivot. Thankfully I still had the ceramics for guests to take home, and I was able to pass out some of the matches later in the week. And, they’re still a keepsake for me! A memory of such a great night.
This was one of my first events where I had to let go of a few details — I can get so caught up in specifics sometimes that I had to remember to take a step back and just enjoy the wonderful company around me, since that’s what it’s all about. I didn’t get to make the candles, my matchbook favors arrived too late, I didn’t have my nails painted the way I was hoping, and the whiskey sours were not on point that night haha. But hey, it was a beautiful evening overall, the vibes were everything I’d hoped for, people had a great time, and I had a great time. So far my thirties have been so much better than my twenties and I couldn’t imagine a better way to kick off this decade. Cheers!